Any parent who works will know exactly where I'm coming from with this.
Physically dragging myself out of bed first thing in the morning was the hardest part of my day before Paige arrived. Now I find myself willing her to wake up before 7am just so I can see her. Don't get me wrong, watching her wave me off with a confused face is far from an easy thing to do, it's just the lesser of two evils. I have yet to experience anything worse than having to grind out a long day at work without a kiss or a cuddle from Paige. I'm glad that she does tend to lay in most mornings because that Nic gets a good rest too, but then my selfish side only wants that one little cuddle.
It doesn't help that Paige doesn't understand where I go, or what I do. She is so different with me in the evenings if I have worked that day. It's like I need to earn her forgiveness for leaving her.
Nicola is a fantastic mum, you can see that Paige really loves and trusts her. They experience so much together. Sometimes it's difficult not to feel like a start stop dad. Like I'm playing catch up every weekend. I hate knowing I've missed another first. Nic is always saying that it's not all play, Paige can be hard work sometimes. Sure, I understand that there will be the occasional hard day as a stay at home parent, but I have five difficult days a week, every week.
I'm not driven by money, I'm all about my family. Unfortunately they kind of go hand in hand. One day I hope Paige understands why I HAVE to leave her. Until then, my heart will continue to slowly break.
What do you find the hardest aspect of being a parent?
Mark
Paige will understand why you leave her she will also be proud that you do, she will be proud her daddy goes out to work and that he does it to support her and her mum and look after them both
ReplyDeleteThanks, lets hope so!
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