Its The Little Things That Matter

Here is a little bit of 'need to know' so this all makes sense! I was born and raised in Suffolk, I didn't move to Yorkshire until 2007 when I met Nicola. I moved up on my own. I rarely get a chance to go down to see my friends and family, so when they come here it really is massive to me.

Now everyone is up to speed, I will begin! My mum and dad are coming up this week! Massive celebratory cheer! It will  only be the third time that they have actually seen Paige in the flesh. Its strange, but it always feels like the first time. I get so proud showing Paige off to my parents. It is the one thing in my life that makes me truly proud to say 'I did that, this is mine!' We skype most weekends with them and Paige seems to understand who they are now, but nothing beats watching my mum and dad give her a cuddle!

I know Nic understands its a big thing for me, I just don't think she realizes how big. I have trouble showing how I feel at the best of times. It is always a big change to our routine to accommodate them, but I see this as a change that is worth the sacrifice. I would do almost anything I could to guarantee that Paige could see them on an extremely regular basis. Its all I want in life, to see my mum and dad proud of me, proud of Paige.

I think it means so much to me when they are together because I know it was my actions that have resulted in them not really knowing their oldest grandchild. But now it has become one of them situations where if we did move down so my parents could see Paige more, somebody else would have to miss out. That's a decision we at some point I suppose will have to make. But for now its irrelevant. I'm just happy that they are coming!

Mark

Man Time! (a short post!)

As a parent that spends a fairly limited time at home because of work, I find it a bit awkward trying to get a bit of time to myself. The evenings are the only time Nic and I get together, and all weekend I try to make up for lost time with Paige. However, everyone needs a little bit of down time!

My choice of relaxation is to sit in front of the TV on a Saturday afternoon and watch the football scores come in. It's something I've done since I was a small boy. Nic used to take Paige upstairs so I could watch it in peace, but nowadays I have to watch it with a little bit of tower building included! Nic is also happy(ish) to let me watch the occasional midweek evening game on ITV.

Every parent needs at least one thing in their life that has always been there, something that identifies you with yourself. Something that reminds you that you are not just a parent, you are still you. Still you but with added responsibility!

I think I would be alot more stressed if I didn't have my football to help me unwind. I rarely drink and don't smoke, so I don't have things that a vast majority would have to help them relax.

What helps keep you sane?

Mark

Every morning my heart breaks a little more

Any parent who works will know exactly where I'm coming from with this.

Physically dragging myself out of bed first thing in the morning was the hardest part of my day before Paige arrived. Now I find myself willing her to wake up before 7am just so I can see her. Don't get me wrong, watching her wave me off with a confused face is far from an easy thing to do, it's just the lesser of two evils. I have yet to experience anything worse than having to grind out a long day at work without a kiss or a cuddle from Paige. I'm glad that she does tend to lay in most mornings because that Nic gets a good rest too, but then my selfish side only wants that one little cuddle.

It doesn't help that Paige doesn't understand where I go, or what I do. She is so different with me in the evenings if I have worked that day. It's like I need to earn her forgiveness for leaving her.

Nicola is a fantastic mum, you can see that Paige really loves and trusts her. They experience so much together. Sometimes it's difficult not to feel like a start stop dad. Like I'm playing catch up every weekend. I hate knowing I've missed another first. Nic is always saying that it's not all play, Paige can be hard work sometimes. Sure, I understand that there will be the occasional hard day as a stay at home parent, but I have five difficult days a week, every week.

I'm not driven by money, I'm all about my family. Unfortunately they kind of go hand in hand. One day I hope Paige understands why I HAVE to leave her. Until then, my heart will continue to slowly break.

What do you find the hardest aspect of being a parent?

Mark

Apparently older means louder!

In recent weeks Paige has definitely become more vocal. Not so much with actual words, but rather with high pitched screams and lower toned shouting spread randomly throughout the day!

One 'game' Paige likes to play with me is to stand about 6 inches away from my face and shout as loud as she can, she will then stand there until I shout back. This normally lasts a few minutes with us taking it in turns, ending with Paige walking away laughing. This occurs at least 3 or 4 times a day.

Another thing Paige enjoys doing with her new found voice is to hold the phone upside down (it's always upside down) and have a full blown conversation with herself. These chats appear to get quite heated at times! Paige also loves it when her grandad phones, we normally put him on loud speaker for her. They sometimes talk away for a good few minutes before she decides she has had enough of him!

Paige gets very 'shouty' whenever she discovers the cat (Millie) hiding somewhere. If Millie is sat behind a curtain, Paige will run over, pull the curtains apart, and just shout until Millie runs off.

Paige is definitely making progress when it comes to expressing herself, and we are hoping it won't be too long before she decides to conform to the conventional way of communicating! Hopefully this will stop her getting frustrated when we are unable to work out certain grunts! Whenever she is ready to talk, we are ready to listen.

I love that she is so confident with her ability to express her voice, I know she will just get more interesting as the days pass. I love our little conversations, and look toward to many, many more.

Mark

What to expect

I have decided to finally become a 'daddy blogger'. My beautiful wife is a 'mummy blogger' (www.nicolalifethroughmyeyes.com) and I thought it could be interesting to see how our experiences with the same child differ. Will we find comfort in different aspects of parenting? There may be an occasional reference to Nic's blog, but the majority will be all my own stories of success, failure, and all that falls in between.

I'm more of a playmate than I am a dad at times, Paige is a friend who I absolutely love spending time with. I work a Monday to Friday 9 to 5 job so my time with Paige is limited, I think this is the main reason we tend to play more than we do anything else.

Posts will mainly consist of games we play, family days out, and just about the beauty that is a father-daughter relationship. I will try to include photos as often as I can, and aim to do at least three posts a week.

Mark